Snapshot at Sixteen

This is the year. The tail-end of last year caught the beginning of the Kate Gilday re-version story, but this year continues what I'm absolutely certain is the most important process in my life. 

Now finally sixteen-going-on-seventeen..... waiting for life to start. Somebody kind (GOD) who's touch-ed my mind has suddenly touched my heart. When that happened, after it happened, nothing was quite the same. Somehow I know I'll jump up and go wherever he calls my name......

Wow, going off on a musical tangent. Anyway, on Friday, March the 30th, 2012, Kathryn Elizabeth Gilday celebrated her "Sweet Sixteen" by attending the third annual Set Free conference. Although I've been to both of the previous events (which in their turn touched my heart and shaped my life irrevocably), this one was different. I don't even know what it was. The past few years when I've attended, I've been truly changed. I've bawled my eyes out during adoration, been inspired by the talks and created long-lasting prayers and resolutions which have stuck with me ever since. 

But this year... I didn't cry. In fact I grinned. Like a maniac. 

Saturday night Adoration/ Benediction at Set Free is incredibly powerful. It's impossible not to be overwhelmed by the sheer emotion and faith present in the hall. God truly moves in that space, touching the minds and the hearts of nearly all of the 200 youth there. I can truly testify to this. The three most fruitful hours of prayer in my life have occurred at Set Free 2010, 2011 and 2012 respectively. 

But 2012 brought something different. A sense of calm. Of joy. Of... peace. I didn't feel overwhelmed. I wasn't afraid of God and emotional. I didn't need to cry. And it was strangely liberating. All my life I've been a perfectionist and an idealist. I've played by the rules, done what was expected of me, planned, organised, over-thought everything. And it's as if God suddenly stripped me of all my worry, all my plans for the future, all the crosses I've been carrying. 

A little while ago, I posted a short little post which said merely 

Joy is not the absence of suffering

 It is the presence of God

That verse (Phil 4:4) suddenly came to me in a moment of profound prayer. And I began to grin. I smiled joyfully, wholeheartedly, idiotically, for at least the next ten minutes. 

Because I realised I had nothing to NOT smile about. A beautiful wonderful friend of mine (you know who you are) once said to me "I don't need a sad face. I've got Jesus!"

How true that is. Set Free this year set me free in a way that nothing else has. It taught me to let go of all my worry. It taught me to smile constantly because I have been blessed by the grace of God and the power of His Holy Spirit. 

Sixteen will be the year of joy. The year of smiling, of laughter, of peace. My heart has been lit aflame with the love of God, and there is no reason in the world that I should not bear testimony to that by my very expression.

Sure I may not yet know what my true vocation is, what I want to study, who I am or who I want to be. But none of that matters. God is joy, and I am more joyful than ever before in His presence.

I am Set Free.

Set Free from worry, anxiety, stress, unhappiness, doubtfulness and anger.

Set Free to love, to laugh, to glorify God.

Set Free.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in them the fire of you love.

AMDG