A Reasonable Attempt at Sanctity

Doctrine alone which does not become life and action becomes idle chatter.

Pope-Emeritus Benedict XVI

I'm a reasonably good Catholic. I attend Mass on Sundays (often more than once!) and at least once more during the week. I get involved with service, pouring time and energy into helping the poor and the downtrodden. I have apologetics on autopilot, ready at any hint of controversy to defend our faith, our Church, our God. Of our graduating class, I was nominated "most likely to be canonised" From an objective perspective, I'm a pretty darned good Catholic. 

But piety ain't sanctity.

And the Lord knows that, good Catholic though I may be, in the "Saint" department I most certainly fall short. 

This article really got me thinking about my desire for holiness. Enough shadows of doubt and of fear remain in my heart for the idea of sanctity to terrify me. Perhaps I'm scared that, as for the martyrs or little St Therese, sanctity will be the fruit of suffering. Maybe I'm scared that the journey towards heaven will take me on a path too radical for my heart to yet understand.

Perhaps I'm simply scared that, if I ask the Lord for holiness, He'll ask holiness of me in return.

St Augustine famously prayed, "Oh Lord, make me chaste- but not yet."

Substitute "chaste" for "holy" and you basically have what my lifestyle is asking of God. I dream of and I desire a future where I answer the Lord's will without hesitation. I think of all the ways I can act with true charity of spirit and strength of witness in situation that have yet to arise. I know what holiness in my everyday life will require of me. But still I say - not yet. 

When my mother asks me to empty the dishwasher and I still have a few pages left of my book chapter - not yet, I say.

When an acquaintance I find frustrating sends me a message to which I ought to reply -  not now, I say, it can wait.

When God asks of me cheerfulness, or devotion in prayer, or confidence in His plans - but surely you can't be asking that of me yet, Lord! 

And so it goes on. I procrastinate a regular prayer life or a charitable attitude towards my parents, saving these virtues for a day when I'll be more holy-ly inclined, or in a circumstance where it will be easy to act like a Saint.

There will never be a good time to become a Saint. 

It will never be easy, and I doubt I will ever have the inclination to become a Saint. We desire to be good, in the our own eyes, the eyes of our society and of our God. But we know that sanctity is elusive. It doesn't fall into our laps. We have to strive and persevere and go ten extra miles to make any progress spiritually. 

And it's so very hard.

It's hard to always make an effort. It's hard to greet annoyances or burdens with a smile and a silent prayer. It's hard to live a life of chastity in thought, word and deed. It's hard to convey God's grace in every interaction with His children. Most of all, it's hard to pray.

It's easy to fall into complacency. To assume that because you confess your sins, listen to God's Word and receive Him in the Eucharist that heaven is a sure thing for you. Perhaps it is, but I feel quite ardently that God demands more of us. He doesn't want us to cruise into heaven having happily trodden an easy path. 

He wants us to be SAINTS

To struggle

To suffer

To make the effort for His sake.

~~~

Lord, make me a Saint. Help me to be holy. Yet. 

AMDG