First Post
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am
Following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing,
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and
in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.
I find that this prayer, written by Thomas Merton, so often applies in my life. We tend to go through life taking each day for granted, not knowing where it will lead us and never truly appreciating its value. And so often we don't even stop to realise the beauty of the fact that every day, every moment is a precious gift from God. He has created and predestined each and every one of us to carry out His will in some form or another, but we ignore it. We brush off the fact that we exist for a purpose. I want to change that in my life. I want to devote each day to God, to the carrying out of His will for me, and the reflection of His goodness here on Earth,
Although I've been a reasonably steady and sincere Catholic all of my 15 years, I am only just coming to a true realisation of the immense and immeasurable greatness of God. Up until about a year ago I had gone to Mass solely as routine. I never truly appreciated the Eucharist, or the priest's tediously long sermons, and although I was close enough to God, he was more a vague overseer of my life than a true and compassionate friend. That's all beginning to change.
I went to the girls' youth group for the first time the other night, and although we just sat talking and making puppets, and said a few prayers, I felt like I was surrounded by truly, truly beautiful, pure women. They weren't afraid of faith. I think that's maybe what I found so heartwarming and astounding. They weren't afraid to openly live their faith and be who God wants them to be. In today's society we're surrounded by atheism. Though I go to a Catholic school, I know that only a small proportion regularly attend church, and most of those don't appreciate it. Here were five girls who were comfortable with God. They didn't care what society thought about them. They knew that God loved them, and that they had a close support network of similar-minded people.
And I must admit I got a bit jealous. Okay, I love my friends dearly, but most of the time I feel that they don't get the whole God thing. I wouldn't feel comfortable to get up at lunch and say something like, "Hey, does anyone want to go to the chapel and say the rosary." Quite honestly, I'd probably be laughed at. I hate that I have to suppress God in my life to be considered 'normal'. I think that we often get so obsessed with 'fitting in' that we ignore the things in our lives that really matter. We forget God.
And that's where these girls had it right. Although I didn't know most of them very well, I felt like I 'fit in' completely with them. They were kind and gentle and good-humoured - and truly Catholic. We didn't once discuss clothes, or popular music, or gossip. I felt like I didn't have to try so hard to be accepted. They accepted me for who I am, God and all, and made me feel so amazing about my faith that I can't wait to go back next week.
So I've decided to start a blog. I don't see it so much as posting to the world as posting to myself. It's kind-of a journal; a consolidation of thoughts about life, about God and about happiness. If you're reading this, please forgive my tendency to ramble! And if the person reading this is one of the youth group girls I just wanted to say thank you. You've given me an amazing kick-start in my faith. I cannot put into words how much having you guys as a support network is going to mean to me. And thank you so much to Kelly and Christine, amazing and beautiful women that you are, for making this group happen and supporting us all in our faith.
I believe this is going to be good for me. My brain is a rather full place, and to get some of it down on paper, to clear my thoughts, and to affirm my faith in God would rather help it a great deal. I don't know if there is going to be any frequency to this "journaling" (exams to study for!) , but I hope that whenever I feel lost, happy, faithful or inspired, I'll be able to share my thoughts with you and with God.
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am
Following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing,
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and
in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.
I find that this prayer, written by Thomas Merton, so often applies in my life. We tend to go through life taking each day for granted, not knowing where it will lead us and never truly appreciating its value. And so often we don't even stop to realise the beauty of the fact that every day, every moment is a precious gift from God. He has created and predestined each and every one of us to carry out His will in some form or another, but we ignore it. We brush off the fact that we exist for a purpose. I want to change that in my life. I want to devote each day to God, to the carrying out of His will for me, and the reflection of His goodness here on Earth,
Although I've been a reasonably steady and sincere Catholic all of my 15 years, I am only just coming to a true realisation of the immense and immeasurable greatness of God. Up until about a year ago I had gone to Mass solely as routine. I never truly appreciated the Eucharist, or the priest's tediously long sermons, and although I was close enough to God, he was more a vague overseer of my life than a true and compassionate friend. That's all beginning to change.
I went to the girls' youth group for the first time the other night, and although we just sat talking and making puppets, and said a few prayers, I felt like I was surrounded by truly, truly beautiful, pure women. They weren't afraid of faith. I think that's maybe what I found so heartwarming and astounding. They weren't afraid to openly live their faith and be who God wants them to be. In today's society we're surrounded by atheism. Though I go to a Catholic school, I know that only a small proportion regularly attend church, and most of those don't appreciate it. Here were five girls who were comfortable with God. They didn't care what society thought about them. They knew that God loved them, and that they had a close support network of similar-minded people.
And I must admit I got a bit jealous. Okay, I love my friends dearly, but most of the time I feel that they don't get the whole God thing. I wouldn't feel comfortable to get up at lunch and say something like, "Hey, does anyone want to go to the chapel and say the rosary." Quite honestly, I'd probably be laughed at. I hate that I have to suppress God in my life to be considered 'normal'. I think that we often get so obsessed with 'fitting in' that we ignore the things in our lives that really matter. We forget God.
And that's where these girls had it right. Although I didn't know most of them very well, I felt like I 'fit in' completely with them. They were kind and gentle and good-humoured - and truly Catholic. We didn't once discuss clothes, or popular music, or gossip. I felt like I didn't have to try so hard to be accepted. They accepted me for who I am, God and all, and made me feel so amazing about my faith that I can't wait to go back next week.
So I've decided to start a blog. I don't see it so much as posting to the world as posting to myself. It's kind-of a journal; a consolidation of thoughts about life, about God and about happiness. If you're reading this, please forgive my tendency to ramble! And if the person reading this is one of the youth group girls I just wanted to say thank you. You've given me an amazing kick-start in my faith. I cannot put into words how much having you guys as a support network is going to mean to me. And thank you so much to Kelly and Christine, amazing and beautiful women that you are, for making this group happen and supporting us all in our faith.
I believe this is going to be good for me. My brain is a rather full place, and to get some of it down on paper, to clear my thoughts, and to affirm my faith in God would rather help it a great deal. I don't know if there is going to be any frequency to this "journaling" (exams to study for!) , but I hope that whenever I feel lost, happy, faithful or inspired, I'll be able to share my thoughts with you and with God.
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