Four Ways to Fall Hopelessly in Love in 2016

Begin as you mean to go on, they say - and so I am. It's a New Year, and I'm spending my first day of it with the guy I'm hopelessly in love with.

(I'm talking about Jesus, by the way, just in case you were under any illusions that I've decided to elope with a stranger to welcome in 2016 ;) 

With just a few months of teenager-hood to go (dude, I'm getting so old. High School Musical came out like ten years ago. I'mma be twenty in three months.), I'm sure I'm entitled to a bit of sappy romantic melodrama, so bear with me while I talk feely feelings.

To be in love with God is to see everything with new eyes. 

It makes walking the dog on New Year's morning a profound experience of intimacy with glory and beauty that makes you want to sing aloud. 

It makes the words of the 9am Mass at Auchenflower a rapturous poem that brings tears to your eyes.

It makes prayer the best way you can spend the first day of your year. 

I'll let you in on a secret: I was into my faith for a long time before I learned to really pray. 

Oh, I would "pray" in the way the world often views prayer: kneeling by my bedside reciting the rosary (and glancing at my watch every minute or two to check my average Hail-Marys-per-minute); asking God to bless my grades and my parents and my future husband and whoever had asked for my prayers; visiting the chapel before an exam or difficult meeting (to be honest, probably a little bit of residual superstition from the athletics tournament where I made it over every high jump bar that I said the Our Father before attempting to leap!).

I was a pious teenager, and my life of prayer through high school was the beginnings of a fruitful relationship with Jesus. But I made the mistake of thinking that my prayer then was as good as it could get - and to be honest, I didn't really enjoy it. I came before the Lord as a duty that He seemed to demand of me and from a desire for prosperity (especially in my grades, extracurriculars and relationships). 

What I didn't realise, in my half-engaged monologues to the God of the universe, was that He was there. 

I wonder how often we forget. 

So frequently when I ask people - fervent young Catholics - about their prayer lives, I'm met with a sigh and a "it's been a bit dry lately." Or I'll hear, "I've been reading this really good book about Christian femininity," or "I really love Hillsong's new album."

Please hear me out: I love praise and worship. I love great books that help you live out your relationship with God to the full. 

But I don't love when they take the place of the relationship itself.

Prayer is a conversation; an intimate dialogue between your heart and the heart of Love Himself; a chance to journey into the depths of infinite Truth and discover His gentle, powerful voice whispering guidance into every moment of your life. 

On the silent retreat I went on in early December, one phrase in particular struck me hard:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus has something important to communicate to you every time you come to Him in prayer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In every moment of every day, the One who loves me most is whispering grace and mercy, joy and peace in the depths of my heart, guiding me through the turbulent terrain of life into an eternal love affair with Him. 

Do I hear that whisper?

Am I hopelessly in love?

As we head into 2016 - a new year and a new self - I want to extend to you the invitation to fall madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love with Jesus. 

Be the heart that comes alive in 2016; be the soul captivated by an awareness of Him who adores you; be that Catholic who actually loves to pray - because prayer is an opportunity to enter into a conversation with your favourite person. 

Let's talk practicals, shall we? A few tips and ideas from a besotted lover of Christ:

1.) Shut Up (and Dance with Him)

Find a place where there's nothing interesting to look at, no random noises to distract you and nobody to pop their head in to ask if you want a sandwich. 

Sit still and simply breathe in and out (alright, this is starting to sound like a mindfulness meditation, but bear with...). Be still and know that He is the flipping God of your heart! 

I have struggled SO much in prayer during my time as a missionary to make space for silence. I've gone in determined to read scripture and journal and get through another chapter of a saint's biography and maybe squish in a couple of worship songs. I've sat in exterior stillness before the Blessed Sacrament and listened to my brain go around in circles ("don't forget to hang the laundry when you've finished prayer - ooh, and remember to apply for those scholarships - ew, what is that bruise on my shinbone - ugh, I wish I wasn't so awkward in social situations - dear Lord, please help me be less anxious about what people think of me - oh! must remember to hang out the laundry!")

Like particles swirling in a glass of water that's been stirred, our souls take a moment to find peace when we come to prayer. Choose to take the time to let everything else fade away as you contemplate His face.

Focus in on the One who is always there even when all other things pass away. Know that in the quiet of your heart He is waiting for you. 

2.) Go on a date

Grab your Bible, a journal and (optional) a cup of tea, and spend some time getting to know the love of your life. 

Sometimes I feel like I read Scripture like a textbook: analysing its historical, poetic and moral merit, picking out key words that I can apply to the exam that is my daily life and work, and perhaps wrapping up with a word or two to the Author Himself. Although mentally engaging, I don't come away feeling any closer to Christ - it's just been a review of words on a page like any other.

The Word of God comes alive when we know it to be His Living Word. 

• Take a small passage of scripture and sit with it, contemplating the God whom it reveals to you;
• Share with God what the passage means to you and ask Him to help you understand better how He invites you to live it out; 
• Listen to how He responds and delight in the words He speaks to you personally
• And then let it overflow into your life!

I promise it actually doesn't get less thrilling as time goes on.

3.) Have a courageous conversation....

You know those things that you vaguely, in the back of your mind, resent God for? The grudges for things that didn't go well; the lurking suspicion that a life of faith is actually dull and boring; the doubts about whether He is really there; the bitterness of hurt, loneliness and exhaustion - bring those things to Him. 

It's okay to be real with Him. He IS reality. And in bringing your questions to Truth Himself, you will encounter the responses that satisfy your restless heart.

Not too long ago, faced with something I knew God was calling me to that I resented, I realised that I was avoiding prayer..... and so I prayed about it. I went to God and told Him I was mad at Him. 

And as I wept, and let out my frustration, and slowly calmed down enough to ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand, I wasn't disappointed. He met every question with a satisfying answer. He revealed my own fears to me in a way I had never understood them before. 

It takes courage to be bold and real with God rather than pretending that everything is fine. But like any human relationship (and, even though Jesus is divine, you are still a human), courageous conversations are necessary to resolve the obstacles that stand in the way of unity. 

Seek out the tough stuff. Dare to share. Know that He is goodness itself.

4.) Notice Him

When you have a crush on someone, you're aware of their movements. You can instinctively tell when they're nearby (by the sound of their laugh, the pace of their footsteps.) They're the first face you look for when you walk into a room. Sometimes as you're falling asleep you'll remember the little exchanges between the two of you that day: the banter, the glances, the thoughtful expressions of kindness. And oh my gosh, the butterflies that swirl around as you notice the beloved. 

With Christ it's the same. As we notice, with gratitude and delight, His presence in every moment; as we contemplate our interactions with Him and begin to see how He is pursuing our hearts into eternity through the hard things as well as the enjoyable things - oh, the butterflies!

You're never alone. The Love that you're seeking has already given everything to be with you. Notice Him with you in every moment, and, in the glory of that love affair, everything else will fall into place.

Happy New Year, friends. I pray that 2016 is a year that finds you happy, healthy and hopelessly in love with Christ.

~~~~

AMDG